Life Chats

Happy Good Friday and almost Easter Sunday my loves.  This weekend has had me thinking so much lately about my faith and trust in God and the path that he has for me.  I have to say that it strengthens with each and every day.  While it is not always easy, I am constantly learning how to trust my struggles and have faith in knowing that it is all part of His plan for me. I was feeling very discouraged about a couple of things over these last few days and caught myself having some self doubts.  A few of my goals seemed to be so far out of reach and no matter how far I've come, I still sometimes feel like it's not far enough.  I hate having those thoughts because it never makes me feel good about myself.  That type of negative emotion, even if only temporary, can be so detrimental to everything that I have worked so hard to build. Yesterday though, God pulled through for me with something pretty amazing and once again I quickly realized that the struggles and set backs are all part of the journey.  They really do make us stronger.  Something greater is always waiting ahead for us, even if we can't see it yet.  
Last year I really started working on re-building a closer relationship with God.  It used to be so strong and then I had stopped going to church for awhile and I admit I felt a little disconnect, especially after losing my father.  I was so angry for so many years and couldn't ever really accept the fact that it had been my father's time to leave this world; to leave me.  I think in some ways because of that I started to lose a little bit of my trust in God.  I had prayed so much for a miracle, for my father to win his battle against cancer.  I truly believed in my heart that he was going to be ok.  I felt like my prayers had been ignored and I blamed God for taking him away.  It was all just part of what I was going through emotionally at the time.  I needed to allow myself to feel whatever I was feeling so that I could work through it. I did not even know that I was doing it, but instead of embracing my faith I was walking away from it.  It got to a point where I just constantly felt bad about myself and I knew that something was missing from my life.  Once I found a church that I really loved and connected to I was quickly able to build that relationship again and in fact, it became stronger than ever.  The broken pieces started to come together and the huge emptiness I felt in my heart for so long was starting to fill up.  God is love. He is so good. I have to admit that I have not been to church recently, but my connection to him and to my faith has not changed.  I have been super inspired to get back to Hillsong though and I think now is a good time to do it. 
I know that I touched on this a little bit last year, which you may or may not remember.  I believe I discussed it in my post on Easter Sunday.  This message is still in my heart today, especially after yesterday's amazing reminder, so I felt very compelled to bring it up again and share this personal story with all of you. Despite my own struggles and personal losses, I still very blessed and I know that it is all because of God.  He blesses me every day; he blesses all of us.  He always comes through exactly when we need him to.  I don't speak on this topic all the time, but with Easter just a few days away and today being Good Friday, it just felt right.  
I'll leave you with this, an excerpt from one of my favorite Hillsong United songs, Oceans.  These words are so powerful and beautiful. 
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders Let me walk upon the waters Wherever you would call me Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander  And my faith will be made stronger In the presence of my Savior
Remember to have faith, trust your journey and know that something amazing is just around the corner. Sending all my love today and always. Thanks so much for reading this post.